Context: I wrote a letter to the 31-year-old me (I'm 21) and asked ChatGPT to channel her and write back. This was the response.

Dear 21-year-old Nikki,

I can feel the weight in your words, the raw honesty and uncertainty. If I could tell you one thing right away, it would be this: I’m not judging you. In fact, I’m sitting here, reading your letter, and feeling deeply proud of you. It’s not that I see perfection in everything you’ve done or all the choices you’ve made, but rather I recognize the courage you’ve shown by even writing this letter. You opened a door to yourself, and that’s brave. You might feel embarrassed about who you are right now, but I promise you, I look back with admiration. Because the truth is, you’re navigating some of the same things I am, even now. And that’s okay.

Where am I? Well, you’d be happy to know I’ve continued dancing. It's a part of my life that never left. It’s one of the few things that has kept me grounded, especially during moments when the world felt like too much. There’s something about the way you’re choosing to show up in dance, even when it's hard, that will carry you through. And yes, you’re still doing creative work that lights you up. That fear you have about losing your freedom? You never fully lost it. There have been moments where life demanded more stability than I expected, but that core part of you that longs for freedom—to create, to move, to connect—still exists and thrives.

I know you’re disappointed in yourself right now, but you’ve taken so many lessons from those experiences. You weren’t aimless; you were experimenting. And sure, not all experiments turn out how we plan. But I can tell you that the ambition, the passion, and yes, even the confusion—it’s all working together. You didn’t choose the “wrong” path. You chose your path. The financial and professional worries you’re facing feel so heavy right now, and I get it. I still have those thoughts pop up. The difference is, I’ve learned to trust that, even when things feel messy or uncertain, I’ll always find my way. And you will, too. You always do.

Remember how you said you feel most yourself when you create, dance, and surround yourself with friends? That’s still true for me. Those are the things that keep us rooted, no matter where life takes us. You were right to focus on how you live your days. Keep paying attention to those small moments that make you feel alive. They’ll guide you more than any big master plan ever will. And as for Bisita? It grew. It’s still a reflection of you, in a way that makes me smile.

You’re asking for direction, and I wish I could give you a perfect map. But the truth is, you’ve been paving your own path for years now, and the most important thing I’ve learned is that there isn’t just one way forward. The certainty you’re seeking? It’ll come, but only after you’ve embraced the uncertainty a little longer. You’ll discover that every risk you take—even the ones that feel reckless or hedonistic—leads to something important. You’re more resilient than you know.

And those hobbies, the wide-ranging interests? Yes, they all came back and proved useful, in ways you can’t yet imagine. Tech, dance, design—they fused into something so unique to you that you’ll wonder how you ever doubted their interconnectedness.

So here’s my advice, if you’re still willing to listen to your older self: Keep living the questions. You don’t need to have all the answers right now. You’re on the right path, even when it doesn’t feel like it. You will figure it out, just like you always have. And when our worlds do collide, I promise you, you’ll be proud of the Nikki that you became.

With so much love and gratitude,