I was able to tap into park power for the Al-Hayek family thanks to my friend Rehana, who organized a community flea market at a park in Santa Ana. I live in Los Angeles so I knew it was going to be a trek (not having a car and all) but I was looking forward to meeting new people and venturing into a new place. So, I packed some comics and prints I had made in a small rolling suitcase and set out for 1801 W Segerstrom Ave, with the intention of giving all funds gathered during the event to the Al-Hayek family.

The first thing I noticed about the park was the small but beautiful lake, along with the Canadian geese resting peacefully by the water--a sight nowhere to be found in the loud, chaotic, dirty hustle and bustle of the city. I walked a bit further with my rolling suitcase and saw Rehana talking to some folks, along with blankets spread out with clothes, baked goods, accessories, and much more. I got to talking with a new friend next to me named Ale who was selling their clothes. I set out some zines and prints on a blanket, and when folks expressed interest in the items I brought I made sure to clarify that all prices were pay-what-you-can.

The flea market was a space tilled by Rehana and seeded by its participants. It was a space not only meant for the sale and exchange of goods, but also a place to water new friendships, swap stories, play chess, partake in snacks, and re-regulate frazzled nerves with the earth (making sure to avoid geese poop in the process). I especially appreciated the space to lie down and let my scoliosis-induced back pain melt into the dirt. Towards the end of the day I ended up selling $160 worth of printed matter, which blew my expectations of selling nothing out the water.

I wasn't sure whether to be explicit or not about the fact that the funds would be going to the Al-Hayek family--would it be disingenuous to try to elicit more money that way? Within the flow of the community flea and conversation I became wrapped up in, however, the point became moot.

More so than the money I was able to gather for the family, these experiences in the park left me with a renewed belief in the significance of relationship and disrupting the internalization of the extractive-ness economic systems that we live in. Instead of approaching the gathering as a place to extract profit, a mentality of relationship building and a decentering of profit resulted in a more powerful result.

This was my first time trying to make this much of a beverage, so I did a lot of guessing & experimentation to figure out the process and the materials I needed. I learned a lot in the process. If I were to do it again, I'm sure I could do it much more efficiently.

Here are some tips that would have saved me a ton of time (and money)!

Thirty minutes into the event, we were approached by park officials and asked to pack up and move. We were worried that this might happen, as 1) we were operating without a permit, and 2) our sign, which signals support for Palestine, could definitely draw the ire of people who don't.

Talking to the officers, it seemed like there was no way we could remain where we were without risking penalty. Thankfully, we had a lot of hands (somehow by then we'd grown to a party of 7), which meant we could pick up and carry most of our stuff without too much trouble. We complied right away to avoid getting fined, and relocated to the street right across from the park.

Screenshots from @ashaqian's story before & after relocating.

This was probably the thing we were most concerned about. Whether or not we end up encountering people who bristle at the mention of "Free Palestine" or people who are prepared to start a fight about it was largely out of our control. We also couldn't predict how passionate or determined a person would be at sabotaging our event or making life hard for us.

We discussed it the night before and settled on a de-escalatory approach. We would rather have any hostile interaction end as quickly as possible so that we could continue having our event, instead of taking a stand (verbally) and engaging someone in an argument that takes over our space.

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We had our 1st encounter of this sort very early on in our day. A passerby shouted out at us, "Do you give out juice to Jews too??" We were like "Yes!!" and gave a thumbs up. The person nodded and walked away. It ended up being that quick.

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Our 2nd encounter came after we relocated to the street across from the park. A woman came up to us, shaking with anger, pointing at our sign, saying "Tell me what do you know about Palestine. What do you know about the history of the Land of Israel going back 3,000 years. Do you know that Judea... You want to talk about free palestine but if you really cared you should be demanding FREE PALESTINE FROM HAMAS, HAMAS IS THE REASON ..." and so on.

There were a few of us manning the table at that point, so a couple people tried to respond in ways that would calm her down. Success was mixed, and she remained in place, ranting passionately for a few minutes at a time.

Then, one of our friends (who was just hanging out, and who wasn't one of the original planners) started countering her views, which unfortunately escalated the engagement. This wasn't his fault, as he hadn't been briefed on the strategy we'd discussed beforehand. He was just standing up for what he (and really, what all of us there) believed in.

But in the 15 minutes that this took place, some of us tried to keep up the engagement with people passing by, but most avoided eye contact with us, probably because they didn't want to get dragged into a tense situation.

Mutual aid is a framework for how ordinary people can coordinate their actions in order to meet each others needs.

It often has a redistributive aspect (can involve donating money, labor, resources, etc), but it is different from charity in several crucial aspects.

Three qualities that distinguish mutual aid from charity are that mutual aid is participatory, unconditional, and anti-institutional.

1.

First, mutual aid is "participatory" in that it matters that the project of meeting a community's needs is led by ordinary members of that community. It matters that anybody can participate, contribute, and even lead these efforts, not just non-profit organization employees.

It is also participatory in the way it erases distinctions between "receivers" and "givers". There's a focus on reciprocal relationships and giving that goes in both directions: people helping their peers, rather than just the wealthy helping the poor. This is made possible, in part, by the emphasis placed on non-monetary forms of giving, such as the free-exchange of items and necessities, skill-sharing, and other acts of service.

This participatory nature makes mutual aid especially great for individual capacity-building. Mutual aid projects develop each of its participants' community-organizing skills by giving them first-hand experience with activities like meeting facilitation, planning, logistics, decision-making etc.

Mutual aid also builds collective capacity. A community that regularly exercises its capacity to care for one another will be dense with healthy, robust relationships. This kind of community can be mobilized quickly when needs arise, in both everyday situations and sudden crises.

2.

Second, mutual aid has an "unconditional" quality to it. It is the norm to give aid to others without qualification, or checking for things like eligibility or "deservingness."

This is because we recognize that not only do these practices pose bureaucratic barriers to those that need aid, but they also stem from a kind of logic that rationalizes and perpetuates injustice. In his essay "Solidarity Not Charity", Dean Spade points out: "The determination of deservingness and undeservingness is based in cultural archetypes that pathologize Black families, frame poor women as overreproductive, and criminalize poverty." (In this line, Spade cites the book Welfare Racism as a source.)

I personally feel that this "unconditional-ness" supports an ethos of love that often gets elided by the governmental/non-profit approach to social services. Like at their best, safety-net government services can be interpreted as well-intentioned, or even altruistic. But can they be loving?

3.

Third, mutual aid tends to be "anti-institutional" or, more precisely, extrainstitutional (Wiktionary definition). Mutual aid projects happen outside of established institutions like governments, non-profits & NGOs, or corporations.

The anti-institutional nature of mutual aid is rooted in anarchist philosophy, particularly in the work of Peter Kropotkin, who wrote about mutual aid as a factor in evolution and human societies.

The first question a lot of people ask me is how I first got in touch with this family. The short answer is Instagram. The long answer is this:

My first point of contact with the Al-hayek family was with their daughter Fatima, who I keep in touch with to this day. Through our correspondence, I have come to know her as an exceedingly kind, smart, and resilient human being, and I am so happy to say she is my friend.

⚠️ This leaflet is a work in progress! ⚠️

Below is a chronological retelling of how Fatima and I became friends and how these efforts to help her family's fundraiser have developed over time.

I haven't had the time to finish the later sections, but if you'd like to know when it's complete you can sign-up below! I'll send an update once this page is done.

On June 23rd, a friend shared the Al-hayek family's GoFundMe on their story, and I usually just repost those when I see them, so I did that and sent a small donation.

Later that night, I got a DM request from Fatima asking if I could help them, and I replied oh, actually i think i donated & shared the fundraiser earlier! But this interaction prompted me to go back and look at Fatima's profile, where I saw some of her older posts.

There were pics of her with a graduation cap in 2022. I thought, oh shit, I also graduated in 2022. Maybe Fatima and I were the same age?

I stalked her profile a bit. I found I could verify some of the info from the GFM: that she had a sister named Rana (from her Following list), that they lived in Gaza (as Fatima had frequently geotagged her stories). I also saw that Fatima participated in a program called Reach Education Fund, which awards scholarships to Palestinian students in Gaza and the West Bank.

The more I thought about it, the more willing I felt to send more funds.

I thought about the disposable income I had. I would suffer no consequences if I treated myself with that money, if I ate out a couple times, got something nice for myself, etc.

But I could also put it towards helping someone and their family who were going through the something unimaginable and terrifying. I could start where I was, with this person who had just opened up a conversation with me, and decide: yes, you are somebody to me. You matter, and I will not ignore you. I will do what I can to help.

This park event was organized by an offshoot of this remote mutual aid working group supporting the Al-Hayek family fundraiser.

If you have any interest in participating in the next park day in NYC, or if you'd like to volunteer your time/energy/skills in other ways (we collaborate remotely), join us!

Info sheet about the family:

We'll be posting more there soon, so follow us for updates!

(the preview looks broken but the link's fine)

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Lastly, if you wanna discuss any of the thoughts in this doc, I (Ashley) would be super happy if you started a conversation with me! I assume you found this doc through social media, so feel free to DM me there.